Exactly a week ago...what I believed spinned out of control in terms of morality and emotionally.

Today…I am speechless….is like being hit by a big truck….you don't see it coming until it hits you in the face. And it comes fast and hard. What else can I say to justify this emotional haywire?..... For something that is kept so carefully guarded and constantly being placed in the backseat after logic, my emotions are bursting out of the box with a vengeance. I shall quote Darian "You either use your head, your heart or your cunt (or penis for you men) to think" everyone knows for a fact I am the type of person who uses the first and the last…never the middle. I lost that part a long time ago….until….that fateful day.

Thinking With Your Head

Logically, a stranger from a different geographical location whom you met when you both were 70% intoxicated by the local Bintang (that was good shit) in a local hot spot, in a country that don't belong to either of you. Logically speaking…it was not meant to last longer then that hilarious night. Yes hilarious because you hear him screaming the name of your country of origin to his mates as though they suffer from some hearing disability. Then in his miraculous drunken courage he declares to you that you look beautiful tonight while holding your hand. Can it get more hilarious then that! Of course it can…half of the time he's with you your thinking what kind of an idiot is he. It adds to the comic when you find out he's from a country so far that sheep outnumber humans 1:10…then again that ratio was given under the influence. Logic accepted.

Thinking With Your Cunt (or Penis for you men)

Emotionally you are too drunk to bother bout his existence but horny enough to want him to stay around so you guys can do the nasty on the dance floor or something. As you take a closer look you noticed the dude has some physical attributes that will definitely catch your fancy…who the fuck cares man not like you'll see the mother fucker ever again rite so…ok why not do some dirty dancing. He really got you all excited at the dance floor and you enjoyed it as well as he is REALLY REALLY your type and he is very attractive, ok…enjoy the attention and the physical contact while its there. Not meant to last longer then that 4 minute sexy Shakira song.

Thinking With Your Heart

Now this here, this is the one which is a little complicating and it's like….malaria…you never know you got it until you get it. So…what makes the situation enter the "heart" zone…well let me do a mental rerun on the experience. You can't stop thinking about the voice, the touch of his hand, the smile and those beautiful beautiful blue eyes and on top of it you can't resists his reckless charms. These are the things that will haunt you for days and days and it will eat you little by little and feed on your desire until it gets too big for you to handle. Then you'll find yourself getting edgy and restless for some god damn reason you don't know yourself. And when you have a little room for thought in your head, you think about that person and everything else in between. As time goes by, somehow…that person is gradually moving to the backseat of your thoughts….THEN….

HE APPEARS

Out of nowhere he prances around in his surf shorts, barefooted looking oh so blur with his surf board walking to the beach, and you sitting a few yards away about to light up a cigarette when you find yourself lifting your shades, squinting and saying "oh my god…is that!!!!!" then you leap out from your chair and selfishly forget the world while you run towards that direction. The amount of blood needed to pump your heart at that moment is going to be able to fly a jet plane as well. You spotted him….now what?